Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Foreign.
[00:00:19] If you're a guest this morning, I just want to personally welcome you. If you're a guest who attended Vacation Bible School this week.
[00:00:26] We had close to a hundred kids this week at Vacation Bible School.
[00:00:31] So that's. That is just, like.
[00:00:33] It's amazing.
[00:00:35] And what's more amazing than that are some of the conversations that I was able, even just as a participant, to overhear conversations about Jesus and to see the work that the spirit was doing in the hearts of our kids is just amazing. I do want to quickly honor Elizabeth. So, Elizabeth, would you just lift your hand? Okay. So.
[00:01:00] So, Elizabeth, Elizabeth Davis is one of our deacons. She's done, for five years, really spearheaded outreach, community outreach for our church, led the way in that. And just, I mean, countless hours in prayer and time and energy and stress all went into helping make VBS work. And so, Elizabeth, we just want to honor you. So thank you for all the hard work you put in.
[00:01:23] Um, yesterday I was at a Sport Clips. And as a pastor, when you do, when you go to a place like Sport Clips, at least in my mind, I know this person is locked into me for the next 30 minutes. They can't go anywhere. I can't go anywhere.
[00:01:40] And so when they ask me what I do, I have the opportunity to say, I'm a pastor. And that leads, typically leads into some sort of spiritual gospel conversation about Jesus.
[00:01:49] And so I had a new hair stylist yesterday, and as she was cutting my hair, she was asking me what I did, and we were talking about that, and somehow we got into talking about family. And she said, yeah, I just got married. I've been married for a year. And I was like, oh, that's awesome. So we're talking about her and her husband, and she asked me, she said, how long have you been married? And I said, I've been married for 12 years, going on 13. And she was like, oh, wow, that's a long time.
[00:02:13] And she was like, how is it?
[00:02:16] And you can tell, like, she asked, how is it? In anticipation that I was going to say something that she's used to hearing.
[00:02:23] Old ball and chain. It's hard. It's, you know, all these things, and I don't want to. We'll talk about some of the complexities and the difficult and the challenges of marriage. Like, we did parenting last week. But I can honestly say, by the grace of God, I was like, I love Sidney more today than I did the first day that we met.
[00:02:43] I mean, I love her under Jesus. She is my favorite person in the world. And that's only by the grace of God that I can say that I love marriage. Yes, marriage is hard, yes, parenting is hard, but these are wonderful gifts of God's grace.
[00:02:59] And so we talked about that and led me to think the first five years or so I regret to say the first five years of Sidney and I's marriage were exceptionally hard. And I take responsibility for most of that.
[00:03:13] Um, it was really, really hard. And when I think about what shifted at about the five year mark, we're certainly not perfect today. We have lots of, I have lots of issues still, as we all do, but something shifted at about the five year mark for me.
[00:03:27] And it was this, it was a particular moment that I sensed the spirit of God bringing to light this question.
[00:03:36] And this is the question that I want to pose to us this morning. If you're married. And it's the question that I want you to consider if you're not yet married, but you have a desire to be married.
[00:03:44] And it was this, do I care more about how our marriage is perceived or do I care more about the person I'm married to?
[00:03:54] And it seems like a simplistic thing, but for me in that moment, it was a very confronting thing.
[00:04:04] Because my answer, if being honest, was the former, like man, what I care about the most in my marriage is how my marriage is perceived, what our marriage demonstrates, what others think whenever they look upon our marriage, they think that we're put together, they think we're good, they think we, you know, et cetera, not as much about the person that I'm actually married to.
[00:04:26] And I think that if you just take a moment to ponder that for a moment, we do this in all sorts of areas of life. We do it in marriage, we do it with our kids.
[00:04:35] The people that God's put in our life that are intended by God to be the object of our affection end up becoming a means to an end.
[00:04:45] And when they don't do the things that we want to do, all of a sudden they become a barrier to our desired end. Does this make sense?
[00:04:52] We even friends do the same thing with Jesus.
[00:04:57] Jesus who? For the Christian. And this is what we'll end on today, that Christianity is not a religion of drudgery.
[00:05:07] So if you're here and you're not yet a Christian, you have questions about the Bible and questions about what does it mean to be a Christian. Maybe your perspective is it's rule following.
[00:05:15] This is what being a Christian is. Do these things, don't do these things. If you do these things and you don't do these things, then God's gonna love and accept you. That's not what Christianity is. The reason that the Gospel is good news is because Christianity is not about drudgery. It's about delight.
[00:05:31] So Jesus is not a means to an end. He is the end. He's the source of all delight in the heart of a Christian. And in marriage between one man and one woman, the relationship is intended to imitate that. That our spouse is not a means to an end. Our spouse is intended by God to be the object of our affection.
[00:05:52] And so it was a very revolutionary moment for me, continues to be by God's grace. And so I just want to pose the same question to you, friends. For those of you in the room, are you more concerned with how your marriage is perceived or what you believe your spouse is supposed to be giving you, or are you more concerned with your spouse being the object of your affection?
[00:06:18] And then for those who are not yet married but desire to be, have you ever sat and engaged with your desires to be married? What do you desire out of a spouse?
[00:06:30] Is your mindset going into marriage? One of, I need to find this particular person to meet these particular needs. Is that your perspective going in? Or is it who. Who might the Lord Jesus lead me to covenant to so that they themselves can be the object of my affection?
[00:06:51] So I want to discuss wisdom in marriage. We've defined wisdom for those who haven't been with us over the last several weeks. The book of Proverbs is a wisdom book. Okay, Proverbs isn't a book filled with promises as much as it is a book filled with wise sayings. It's written. Most of it was written by King Solomon, David's son, who was said throughout history to be the wisest man to ever live under the Lord Jesus, who is himself wisdom.
[00:07:21] Solomon prays for wisdom to govern the people of God, the nation of Israel. And God grants Solomon wisdom. And then Solomon writes these books, Song of Solomon, Ecclesiastes, Proverbs.
[00:07:32] To teach us as the people of God now who have faith in Jesus, to teach us what it looks like to live with wisdom. And we've defined wisdom as the skill empowered by the Spirit to live a true, good and beautiful life to the glory of God.
[00:07:49] So wisdom is not just mere knowledge. It's not just knowing theology that's really important, but it's theology applied.
[00:07:58] It's the ability to live by the power and person of the Holy Spirit a true, good and beautiful life that the Aroma of Christ would permeate from you and I into a watching and desperately needy world.
[00:08:13] This is. This is wisdom. This is what wisdom is. And Solomon says in the first proverb that the fear of the Lord.
[00:08:21] I'm sorry, that that wisdom begins with the fear of the Lord.
[00:08:24] That the fear of the Lord is really the driver behind what it looks like for you and I to live a true, good and beautiful life. And then we defined the fear of the Lord as not fear of punishment, but a joyful trembling toward God as your Father.
[00:08:41] So if you've put your faith in Jesus Christ over 2000 years ago, Jesus Christ, the perfect man, God, man, took all of your sin upon himself on the cross, died on the cross, was buried, and then three days later, raised by the power of God, triumphant over sin and death. That's your hope. Your hope this morning is in Jesus. In Jesus finished work, his perfect life, not yours. His death on the cross in your place, his resurrection from the grave.
[00:09:08] He is our hope. And in Christ, we don't fear God as it pertains to punishment because we know our punishment's already been taken away. We fear God in the sense of joyful trembling. We're just so thrilled to be in the presence of the God of the universe, knowing that he's our Father.
[00:09:26] This is the fear of the Lord.
[00:09:28] And Solomon says, when we're walking in the fear of the Lord, we're walking wisely. Is everybody following thus far? All right, so what does it look like then to have wisdom in marriage? Okay, so this is what we're going to talk about this morning.
[00:09:42] Three questions that I want to answer from the text. Number one, what is marriage necessary for us to define this and be clear on this. What is marriage? Number two, why did God create sexual intimacy within marriage?
[00:09:57] And then number three, how does one grow in wisdom within marriage or in preparation for marriage for those of you who God will call to marry one of these days? So first question.
[00:10:10] What is marriage? Look at verse 15, Proverbs 5. This is what Solomon starts by saying. He says, drink from your own cistern, flowing water from your own well.
[00:10:23] So a few weeks ago, we talked about this idea of the cistern and the well being, an image used throughout the Bible.
[00:10:32] And how we all have this tendency to kind of build our own cistern rather than drinking from the well that is God. And that's called idolatry. When we do that, our own cistern is very leaky. It doesn't satisfy us the way that the one true well, which is Christ Himself does. Only Christ can satisfy the deepest, deepest longings of our soul. And in a similar way, Solomon saying to his son, and this is two husbands, drink from your own cistern, flowing water from your own well.
[00:11:07] This is obviously in relation to. We know this by the context. This is in relation to the husband toward his wife.
[00:11:14] Solomon's using imagery to articulate this principle that for all of us in the room who are husbands, you have your own cistern, you have your own well, and that, well, that cistern is your lovely wife.
[00:11:27] Drink from your own cistern, flowing water from your own well. I want us to notice the exclusivity.
[00:11:35] Own is a really important word in this statement. Your own cistern, your own well. Notice the exclusivity and the metaphorical imagery of the statement from Solomon, woman, cistern, well, refer to one's wife. So the first thing that I think we need to take note of when we're defining what marriage is is that. And I say this gently, friends, that your definition of marriage and mine is irrelevant.
[00:12:04] What you think marriage is, what I think marriage is, is irrelevant. If there is a God, and we believe there is.
[00:12:12] If there is a God of the universe, then only his definition of marriage matters.
[00:12:16] It doesn't matter how the Supreme Court of the United States defines marriage.
[00:12:20] Doesn't matter how you define marriage. Doesn't matter how the culture defines marriage.
[00:12:24] How does God define marriage?
[00:12:29] How does he define marriage? Marriage is defined by God. This is the first point to be made as we're defining. What it is, is that it is defined by.
[00:12:42] By God. So if marriage is defined by God, what does he say about it? Genesis 2:18 and then verses 20 to 25. Genesis is the first book of the Bible.
[00:12:52] Genesis chapter one and two are the accounts that we've been given by God through Moses to talk about what life was like before sin entered the world and ruined everything.
[00:13:03] And so if you're here again and you're not yet a Christian or a new Christian, and you're looking out at the landscape of the world and the culture, and you're like this really bad.
[00:13:13] Like, how. How can you continue to believe in a God in light of all the terrible things going on in the world, that. That's a good question. Well, the Bible doesn't. The Bible gives a great explanation behind that and that the reason the world is the way it is is because of sin. But it wasn't always that way when God created it in the beginning. So Genesis 2:18, verses 20 to 25 says this. Then the Lord God said, it is not good that the man should be alone.
[00:13:41] Said, I will make a helper fit for him. The man gave names to all the livestock, and to the birds of the heavens, and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper fit for him. So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept, took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh.
[00:13:59] And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man, he made into a woman and brought her to the man. This is the first wedding ceremony.
[00:14:10] God brings his daughter Eve to the man for the first time.
[00:14:15] Then the man said, this at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. She shall be called woman because she was taken out of man.
[00:14:25] Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast, cling, cleave to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.
[00:14:38] I was thinking about this this week. This is a side note. It's not in my notes, but I was like, man, I'm. I'm talking about sex and intimacy this weekend. And there was a part of me that almost felt embarrassed by that. And then I was like, why am I embarrassed by that? And then I thought, if I get up and start talking about sex, you're going to feel embarrassed by it, too. And then that led me to think, why are we embarrassed to talk about this? It's because of shame.
[00:15:00] Because there was a point in the universe before sin entered the world that the man and the woman were naked and unashamed.
[00:15:09] And as we've discussed before, if guilt is I did wrong, shame is I am wrong.
[00:15:16] And there are few areas of life, friends, where we feel more shame than when it comes to the topic of sex.
[00:15:27] Because every single one of us in the room, regardless of whether you grew up in the church or not, or you've lived a very sexually promiscuous life or not. Every single one of us in the room have sexual brokenness in our heart.
[00:15:43] All of us do.
[00:15:46] This was one of the negative impacts of purity culture.
[00:15:52] Really good things that came out of purity culture. But one of the negative impacts of purity culture is this false idea that there are sexually broken people and not sexually broken people in the world.
[00:16:03] It's not true.
[00:16:07] We all have sexual brokenness in our heart, and so much of our life is driven and dictated by this thing called shame.
[00:16:16] What sin brings into our life, not just sin that we've committed, but sin that's been committed against us.
[00:16:22] Shame.
[00:16:26] But there was a point where the man and woman were naked together in marriage, in sexual union, unashamed the way God intended it to be.
[00:16:37] And then in Genesis 3, the enemy of God, Satan, comes into the scene, tempts Adam and Eve. Adam and Eve give way to the enemy's lies and his deceits. Sin enters the world and it fractures everything, including sexual intimacy and marriage.
[00:16:56] As a matter of fact, I would argue, and I think you can point this out biblically, that the relationship that Satan wants to get after more than anything else in our life is marriage.
[00:17:08] And he's doing it.
[00:17:11] If the family can be destroyed, then Satan gets a victory.
[00:17:17] If marriage can be confused and manipulated to mean something else that God didn't intend for it to mean, then Satan can get a massive victory here.
[00:17:30] So God creates marriage in Genesis 2. And then in Ephesians, chapter 5, verses 31 to 33, we see the ultimate purpose behind marriage. Marriage wasn't just given by God to be a loving, intimate, wonderful relationship between a man and a woman. Marriage wasn't created by God to be an end in and of itself, but to be a river flowing to an eternally greater end. And this is What Paul says, that is in Ephesians 5, 31, 33, he says, he quotes Genesis 2, therefore, a man shall leave his father, mother, and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This mystery is profound. So Paul's going to take something thousands of years old and he's going to say, this is a mystery. And I'm going to peel back the layers for you so that you see the ultimate purpose behind why God made it the way that he did.
[00:18:20] This mystery is profound. And I'm saying that it refers to Christ and the Church.
[00:18:28] Why is marriage between one man and one woman? Why exclusivity here?
[00:18:36] Because of what marriage represents in the ultimate marriage.
[00:18:43] And this is why the Gospel is good news for you this morning for those who believe, whether you're married or you're not yet married, or you're not married, because marriage is not an end in and of itself. Marriage can't satisfy you. There is an ultimate marriage, an ultimate relationship by which all of us in the room were created for.
[00:19:03] And in the ultimate marriage between God and his beloved, there is one bridegroom, Jesus, and one bride, the church, all who love him.
[00:19:14] And so Solomon tells his son in verse 15, drink from your own cistern, flowing water from your own well, not just because it's good for you. But because of what your marriage and mine represent by the grace of God.
[00:19:33] So number two, why did God create sexual intimacy within marriage?
[00:19:38] Why did God create sexual intimacy within marriage?
[00:19:42] First thing to take note of before I kind of break this down into our text, is sexual intimacy as God designed is true, good, and beautiful.
[00:19:54] A problem is not sex. The problem isn't sexual intimacy. The problem is the sexual brokenness that all of us bring into it, that by the grace of God, he's already redeemed and is continuing to redeem and will one day redeem. Dr. Dan Allender says the majority of people believe sex is just sex, but sex is more than sex, and sexual harm is. Is more than a mere violation.
[00:20:25] That's because 1 Corinthians 6:18 says, Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. Again, it's so significant because of what it represents, what God created it to be, and how he created it to flourish and function. So what. What did. Why did God create sexual intimacy? I want to give you three reasons, though I think there are four.
[00:20:54] And I'll give you the fourth anyways, just as a bonus. Okay, so number one, what is sexual intimacy for? Why did God create sexual intimacy?
[00:21:05] Point number one, procreation.
[00:21:07] How did God create sexual intimacy? Why did God create sex within the balance of marriage? Number one is procreation. This is threaded. This is the worldview of scripture, friends.
[00:21:19] This is what's assumed in Scripture.
[00:21:22] Genesis 1:28. God blessed them. God said to them, be fruitful and multiply.
[00:21:27] Fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth. We're not just commanded by God to have babies. We're commanded by God to have babies and by the grace of God, train and disciple those babies to love and know Jesus. See Jesus save those babies. And then the aroma of Christ spread all throughout the earth through little image bearers of God. It's for God's glory.
[00:21:55] It's a wonderful vision.
[00:21:57] It's not just about populating the earth. It's not about winning a culture war. It's about God's glory and grace permeating all throughout every crevice of the earth.
[00:22:06] So he says, be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth with image bearers of me and subdue it.
[00:22:16] Solomon in, in our text says this.
[00:22:21] He says, should your springs be scattered abroad, streams of water in the streets. Let them be for yourself alone and not for strangers with you.
[00:22:31] All right, this could be interpreted in one of two ways.
[00:22:34] This could either be interpreted as the springs that he's talking about are it's pertaining to children, his offspring, which is what I think he's talking about, or it could be referring to the act of sexual intimacy itself. Either one could be fine. I'm not going to make a hard line stance. I'm just going to say I think this is what he's talking about. I think when he refers to them in the text, let them be for yourself alone and not for strangers with you. He's telling his son, he's saying, hey, don't. Don't go off and become sexually intimate with someone who's not your wife, but be sexually intimate with your wife. Procreate by the grace of God, and let your children be yours alone.
[00:23:18] So that's the first point to be made, is why did God create sexual intimacy? Number one is procreation. Number two is pleasure.
[00:23:27] Why did God create sexual intimacy Pleasure? He says, let your fountain be blessed and rejoice.
[00:23:33] And the wife of your youth, a lovely dear, a graceful doe. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight. Be intoxicated always, not some of the time. Be intoxicated always in her love like that. I mean, again, Christianity, not a religion of drudgery, a religion of delight.
[00:23:58] Isn't it amazing that God commands such things to his people?
[00:24:03] Isn't that amazing?
[00:24:07] I've given you this wife.
[00:24:09] Wife. I've given you this husband. And I want you to enjoy each other.
[00:24:14] I want you to enjoy each other so much that I'm going to use a word like intoxicated to paint the picture of what I want you to have within the context of your marriage.
[00:24:24] Be intoxicated always. In her love song of Solomon, 4:12 Solomon, again he says to his wife, you are my private garden, my treasure, my bride, a secluded spring, a hidden fountain.
[00:24:40] He says again In Ecclesiastes, chapter 9, verse 9, enjoy life with the wife whom you love all the days of your vain life that he has given you under the sun, because that is your portion in life and in your toil, at which you toil under the sun.
[00:24:59] Friends, you're invited to enjoy life.
[00:25:04] If you're married, you're invited to enjoy one another.
[00:25:10] If you're not married, you're invited to enjoy life. The good things of life, as much as the evil of the world might be a deterrent for some to believe. Upon God I'VE been there before, before I was a believer. You look upon the evil in the world and you're like, how could there be a loving God?
[00:25:29] What about the beauties of life?
[00:25:32] What about the good things in life? What about the laughter and the joy and the campfire conversations and intimacy with your spouse and smiling children? And like, what about those moments? What do they say about the universe was. I understand these things.
[00:25:48] It points to the reality that there is a creator God and he's a joyful God.
[00:25:54] Some of us see God as a God exclusively of wrath.
[00:26:01] You know, no place in the Bible says God is wrath.
[00:26:05] That verse doesn't exist. You know what does exist?
[00:26:09] God is love.
[00:26:13] He is 1st John 4 if you want another reference. He is love.
[00:26:19] Wrath is something he's provoked to when evil happens because he's good.
[00:26:28] And what in the world kind of good God out there would look upon the atrocities and the evil of the world and be indifferent to those things?
[00:26:35] He's provoked to wrath because he loves us, because he created us for more.
[00:26:43] He created us for joy and flourishing and thriving. And sin has ruined all of it.
[00:26:52] So yes, he's provoked to wrath.
[00:26:54] The cross of Jesus Christ is a place in history that both demonstrates his wrath and his love on full display at the cross of Jesus Christ.
[00:27:08] God himself took the wrath that you and I deserved and in so doing stayed on the cross out of love for sinners. So that whoever you are this morning and whatever you've done and however bad you think you are, and you've out sinned the grace of God, however big your sin is, God's grace is always greater.
[00:27:31] There's opportunity for you today.
[00:27:34] Please don't leave this room. And if you're not yet a Christian without at least reckoning with the idea that you can be forgiven today, you can receive new life today in this, in this room, you can be reconciled to the God of the universe. Today you could be adopted as a son or daughter of God. Today you could be clothed in the righteousness of Christ. You can walk out the doors knowing for certain that heaven is in your future and not hell. Because of what Christ did.
[00:28:05] You can trust Him.
[00:28:08] He is love.
[00:28:10] And he wants you to enjoy life in Christ.
[00:28:16] The reason we don't enjoy life is because we take creation that he intended for us to enjoy and we worship it.
[00:28:24] So sex goes from being a gift to being a God.
[00:28:29] And we're miserable in the midst of can't satisfy you Marriage gift not God can't satisfy you children gift not God. These are good things that were. That were intended by God to be enjoyed.
[00:28:47] But in our sin, we've rejected that and chosen to worship them instead.
[00:28:56] And so we're all discombobulated and confused and miserable and stressed, and it's a worship problem.
[00:29:05] And so he creates sex within the context of marriage between one man and one woman.
[00:29:12] Not just for procreation, though that's glorious, but for pleasure.
[00:29:18] That in the act of sexual, you can know something of the pleasure of God.
[00:29:27] Number three, protection.
[00:29:32] Listen to what Solomon says. He says, why should you be intoxicated, my son, with a forbidden woman and embrace the bosom of an adulteress?
[00:29:41] I want you to notice his logic.
[00:29:44] Solomon doesn't just tell his son, don't seek intimacy outside of marriage. Don't do that. That's bad.
[00:29:52] But he. His logic is. He reasons with him in a different way, doesn't he?
[00:29:57] He paints this, like, amazingly beautiful picture of what his son can and should enjoy within the context of marriage, paints this beautiful picture. And then he comes over to the other side and he says, why would you want to dabble in this when you have this?
[00:30:14] Why would you want to leave this behind for this?
[00:30:17] Don't you see?
[00:30:19] Don't you see how much better this is?
[00:30:22] The same logic again can be applied to all temptations in life. If you're a follower of Jesus, sin looks appealing until you compare it to the glory and grace of Jesus.
[00:30:34] And then it's like leaving behind a steak dinner to go, I don't know, like, eat at Taco Bell or something.
[00:30:40] The two. The two don't compare to each other.
[00:30:46] And so God gives sexual intimacy within the context of marriage for the purpose of protection. The apostle Paul says in First Corinthians 7, verse 2, but because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.
[00:31:06] Sexual intimacy, and this is another quote from Dan Allender said, sexual intimacy, then, in marriage is not merely for procreation and pleasure. Sexual intimacy in marriage is an act of spiritual warfare.
[00:31:20] Because, again, if. If shame is the thing that's going to keep a husband and a wife from each other, one of the greatest ways that you and I can give Satan just a good right hook to the jaw is by enjoying sexual intimacy with one another.
[00:31:37] He gave us one another in the context of marriage to help one another fight against temptation. This is why the apostle Paul says in First Corinthians 7 as well, don't deprive one another.
[00:31:49] Do not deprive one Another, you're making it harder on each other.
[00:31:56] And I. I said this to Matt earlier this morning. This should be a sermon series. So don't hear what I'm not saying.
[00:32:03] But this is the principle behind what the apostle Paul is saying.
[00:32:07] Sex, ultimately, friends, if you're. Again, if you're in marriage, if you're married, sex is not about you.
[00:32:15] Like, what if your mindset going into sex was not. How can I enjoy this for the sake of my own pleasure and my own gain? But how. How can I give up of myself for the sake of my spouse?
[00:32:25] That's the idea that Paul's painting here.
[00:32:30] We lovingly serve one another.
[00:32:36] And so sex is by God's grace, procreation, pleasure, enjoyment of one another, protection.
[00:32:43] It's a form of spiritual warfare.
[00:32:46] And sex, ultimately, within marriage, represents the union between God and his people.
[00:32:54] We are for those who trust in Jesus.
[00:32:57] Paul says we are hidden with Christ and God.
[00:33:02] It's what the Christian life is. The Christian life is not just about you having your sins forgiven and waiting for heaven.
[00:33:08] The Christian life is the reality that you have union with the God of the universe. God is your father, Christ is your savior, Lord and brother, the Holy Spirit is your helper. You and I are in God.
[00:33:23] And sex is a wonderful means of grace by which we get to temporarily, physically, emotionally, spiritually be reminded of that union that we have in God.
[00:33:36] And so how then does one grow in wisdom within marriage and in preparation for it for those who are not yet married?
[00:33:48] He says this, for a man's ways are before the eyes of the Lord, and he that being God ponders all his paths.
[00:33:58] A man's ways are always before the eyes of the Lord, and he ponders all of his paths. How do we grow in wisdom as it pertains to marriage and in preparation for marriage?
[00:34:08] We contemplate the character of God.
[00:34:11] Contemplate the character of God. We contemplate the attributes of God, namely, Solomon is giving this to his son as a warning.
[00:34:22] He's articulating the delight and the ecstasy and the joy of marriage. He's warning him against adultery. And the means by which he's warning him against adultery is to say, the Lord's eyes are always on you.
[00:34:39] So brothers, sisters, you will there.
[00:34:43] David says, even if I dive the deepest depths and if I ascend the highest heights, you're there.
[00:34:54] This is called God's omnipresence.
[00:34:58] That's a big word that just means God is spirit and he's everywhere.
[00:35:06] You and I cannot lock ourselves in A room and believe that somehow God's not there.
[00:35:15] Every thought we think is known by God. Jesus says he knows the number of hair on your head.
[00:35:25] He knows everything about you. And this makes his love all the more astounding, doesn't it?
[00:35:32] He knows you better than you know you.
[00:35:34] He knows you better than your spouse knows you. He knows everything. And this does two things.
[00:35:41] Number one, this is intended to lead to conviction.
[00:35:47] It's intended to lead to conviction. Conviction might seem like a bad word to some, like repentance does. But conviction is a glorious thing that the Holy Spirit does as an act of love and grace.
[00:36:01] It's like if you saw one of your kids, if you have kids running out into the street, you would do, I assume you would do everything you can to turn your kid back from running in the street. You would scream, you would holler, and eventually you'd run after him. Wouldn't you grab him by the shirt, you'd yank them back before they get hit by a car and died.
[00:36:21] This is kind of like what conviction and repentance is like. Oh, it sounds mean that God would do that. No, it's the most loving thing he could do is to not let you and I walk in the way that we would normally go.
[00:36:33] Because our hearts are prone to wonder.
[00:36:37] And so God, in loving pursuit, convicts our hearts when we think about. We put before our mind the reality that God is everywhere and he knows all things. It's supposed to lead to conviction. Friends, if you're living a hidden life, I mean, you know this because you read the news it Every single week, an evangelical pastor falls and disqualifies himself from ministry, like, every week.
[00:37:08] I know some of these guys.
[00:37:14] It happens all the time.
[00:37:15] And sometimes the stuff that comes out, you're like. It's like a movie.
[00:37:21] I can almost assure you of one thing. It almost never starts that intense, does it?
[00:37:25] That's not how sin works.
[00:37:28] It's much more insidious than that. It's a little thing here and a little thing there and a little thing here and a little thing there.
[00:37:35] And all of a sudden what happens is our conscience becomes a little bit more hardened until you and I end up in a place that we never intended or thought we would go.
[00:37:50] Spurgeon said that sin is sovereign until sovereign grace dethrones it.
[00:38:00] Sin will be king in our life until the king of kings takes it off its throne.
[00:38:09] We need sovereign grace. If you're here and you're not yet a Christian, you need to become a Christian.
[00:38:16] You need. You need to put your faith in Jesus. It's your only hope. It's your only hope for life to put your faith in Jesus. And if you are. If you are a Christian and you're living in secret sin, he sees.
[00:38:31] And I want to encourage you to hear my words as an act of grace from God to confess it today.
[00:38:39] Don't give it another day.
[00:38:41] Don't give it another moment. Slay it by the power of the Holy Spirit.
[00:38:45] Christ has already crucified it. You've got nothing to lose and everything to gain.
[00:38:51] He sees everything.
[00:38:54] He ponders your ways.
[00:38:59] Now, this is not just meant to lead to conviction. It's meant to lead to comfort as well.
[00:39:05] It's meant to lead to comfort as well. I had a moment with my daughter last week. She's one, I've got five kids, 10 to 11 year old. Sydney had all four of the other kids out and it was just me and my youngest and. And I was trying to do stuff to clean up around the house.
[00:39:19] And I was in a frantic. I was hurrying, I was doing different things. And every single room that I went into, she followed me there. And she's like a super fast crawler. So she's crawling like army crawling to get to me. And. And I had this. And. And finally she started doing this. Like she'll get on her knees and she'll kind of hold her hands up like this for me to grab her. And. And I just had this moment of clarity that it was like all she wants in life right now is my presence.
[00:39:48] The eyes of the Lord are always on you.
[00:39:51] It is meant to be convicting, but for the child of God, it should be the most comforting thing in the world.
[00:39:58] I just want your presence.
[00:40:01] That's all I want.
[00:40:03] Moses said that. He's like, hey, if your presence doesn't go, I don't want to go.
[00:40:08] I don't want to be anywhere in the world that you're not. I don't want all the money in the world. I don't want all the fame in the world. I don't want to never get cancer. I don't want. I just want you.
[00:40:19] That's the heart of a Christian.
[00:40:22] I just want you.
[00:40:24] If I have you, I can weather anything by your grace.
[00:40:29] I just want you.
[00:40:32] The psalms say that it's in the presence of the Lord that there is fullness of joy, satisfaction.
[00:40:43] Like when you eat a really good meal, you're not still hungry for another meal, you're satisfied.
[00:40:49] That's available for your soul today.
[00:40:52] That happens in the presence of the Lord.
[00:40:56] And his presence is with us always, even to the end of the age.
[00:41:00] The eyes of the Lord are always on us, and he ponders all of our paths. So I want to pray, and then I want to give a quick invitation before we take communion, and then we'll continue singing.
